The Solution To Premature Ejaculation?

One of the issues about premature ejaculation is that it relates not just to anxiety about sex, but also about your sexual and personal power as a man. (Personal power is a subject discussed at length here.)

There’s no question that for a lot of men, the desire to take a woman to orgasm during intercourse as a powerful symbol of their masculinity and the ability to succeed in this is a demonstration of that power. However, many men find that anxiety is a particular problem for them during sexual experiences with a woman. This undoubtedly comes down to the fact that men are not, in this society, particularly encouraged to reach into their power and feel how strong they are as men, either in relationships with their sexual partners or in the world at large.

There are many reasons why this state of affairs has evolved, which aren’t directly relevant to this discussion. But if you want to know more about the origin of men’s weakness, there’s an excellent book available, which we’ll explain to you how it is that men have lost their power. You can obtain it here. Now, having said all of this practical solutions are generally what’s required by men who having difficulty containing themselves during sex. By the way, premature ejaculation is a matter of definition. One couple might be completely satisfied with his sexual performance by the man while another couple would find it totally inadequate.

The factors which cause premature ejaculation

So in a sense, premature ejaculation only exists as a condition when the couple identify that they’re dissatisfied with the length and duration of intercourse. Having said that, there are some official guidelines which have been constructed over the earth to try and help bring premature ejaculation into the classification of medical diseases or problems. In essence, it relates to the time between penetration and the time between ejaculation.

This is called the vaginal ejaculatory latency time, or I E L T for short. Another interesting fact about premature ejaculation is that different cultures define this condition differently. So in some Middle Eastern countries, rapid ejaculation is actually regarded as a sign of masculinity and manhood. In the West, of course, it’s not so regarded favourably as this and tends to be something that men feel shame or a sense of inadequacy around.

So what do we have to measure for a definition of “Premature Ejaculation”? Well, in every survey that’s been done, between 30 and 50% of men say that they come too quickly during sexual intercourse, and 30% will identify as having premature ejaculation.

In the official diagnostic manual of sexual problems, the DSM V, premature ejaculation is defined as ejaculating within two minutes of penetration. Now, to me, this hardly seems an adequate definition. Does it mean that after a man has had sexual intercourse for two minutes and five seconds, and then he ejaculates, he’s no longer coming prematurely?

This demonstrates the folly of trying to impose conditions and characteristics on a definition of a sexual problem that’s so much intertwined with personal feelings, relationship difficulties, expectations from society, and anxiety in the man about his sexual performance. So what to do about it?

Well, there are various cures available, and the most simple is to take a drug which has become readily available in parts of the world over the recent years. This is Dapoxetine, otherwise known as Priligy, which is in fact an antidepressant. It’s become used as a cure for premature ejaculation because over the years that it’s been available as an antidepressant, men who have taken it noticed that their ejaculatory latency time became longer and longer.

Although it was a long battle to allow this drug to be prescribed as a cure for premature ejaculation, that battle was eventually won by a combination of medical evidence and commercial pressure.

The fact is, however, that if you get the dose right, it can be a very effective form of cure for slowing down your ejaculation during intercourse. If you don’t want to take the drug route, then there are various methods of training yourself to last longer in bed, desensitising yourself to sexual arousal and becoming more relaxed during sexual intercourse.

It’s not easy, but it can be done, and if you have the determination and your partner’s support, then you can use this treatment method to find a way of lasting longer in bed. The treatment is basically a desensitisation to sexual stimulation so that you reach the point of orgasm and ejaculation much more slowly. The way this is achieved is through a process of relaxation and desensitisation exercises called sensate focus. These are fully described in Rod Phillips’ book, how to Overcome Premature Ejaculation at Home in Private.